Sunday, February 26, 2012


So I broke down yesterday and rented the first Twilight movie. I've read snips from the book, and because of my - er - disdain may not be a strong enough word here - of the writing quality, I have never finished the book. Any of them.

But it's such a huge fad, and so I thought that it seemed likely that whoever made the movie would clean up a lot of the garbage so that the movie would sell. Makes sense - right?

Oh - how wrong I was. 

The movie is laughable. Inane. Pedestrian. Seventh grade. Not better than the book.

But look at the picture Doesn't Edward look like he should be deep, and brooding? Tough and worldly? He is, after all, elderly by anyone's standards, and must have survived a thing or two.

Here's the naked truth: Edward is a wimp, and that these two fall in "love" with each other after one conversation is beyond ridiculous. Upon what basis do they rest even a liking of one another? He wants to drink her blood for God's sake and she wants to - - well, do what girls want to do with the object of their romantic interests.

And there are some very disturbing occurrences in this movie. Edward follows Bella out of town even before they're friends - and he visits her bedroom at night to watch her sleep. Um - - hello, Mr. Creepy-Pants! I think we in law enforcement call that stalking and have little things called restraining orders for people like you!

But is Bella creeped out when she finds out? No - she isn't. Not at all. And not only that, but no matter how much danger Edward puts her in, Bella clings only more tightly to a fellow who could be her great-great grandad. And she begs him not to leave her.

Some of this is pure teen love: The utter stupidity of those in "love," and the subsequent decisions completely devoid of reason or sense. But there is a proclivity for abuse underneath here that we shouldn't be overlooking. 

Yes; Edward didn't hurt Bella, but she didn't know that he wouldn't. Do you want your teen daughter taking those kinds of risks for a boy - or a man (or a girl - woman - as the case may be)?

Adding insult to injury, for me anyway, is the piss-poor writing and plotting, and the fact that Edward's character seems like such a wimp. 

I am not exaggerating about the poor writing and plotting. The movie is yawn-yawn trite, and the characters sometimes know things they shouldn't (because the things haven't been revealed to them). The dialogue is painful at times as well. 

I honestly imagined that after I saw the movie I would (secretly) understand the draw to it, but I'd be lying if I said I did. I don't. 

For many reasons, it belongs in the trashcan.


  1. Now I'm even more insulted that someone thought my sfr book was like Twilight!

    1. Your work is NOTHING like this. NOTHING. Your first draft at age 6 was better than this.

    2. lmao! It doesn't sound like something I'd let daughter watch.